Whether you are in the middle of planning your wedding and feeling increasingly stressed or are just about to embark on the process of organising your magical wedding, don’t let the day itself be overshadowed by the enormity of the planning involved.
Too many couples allow the worry over whether the guests will enjoy the entertainment chosen, or whether the carefully thought out timings will go according to plan, to take over the actual enjoyment of getting married and the celebration that the day should really be.
If you think you may fall into this category then here are our top tips on how to actually enjoy planning your wedding:
Get a planning buddy
This should ideally be someone else other than your partner and they should be someone who can help you practically realise your dream day. This might mean being the person who says no, because you are the kind of person who always says yes; it might mean being the person who reminds you that although the quaint hotel garden looks like the perfect romantic spot for your wedding vows, you actually won’t be able to fit all your guests and you should stick with the Grand Ballroom instead. A planning buddy should ease some of the planning pressure and share the burden of the seemingly endless list of things you need to do.
Part of this process is also learning to delegate. If you are the kind of person who likes to be in control all of the time then this is probably going to be a particularly difficult task for you but a necessary one all the same. Allow your planning buddy to take some of the responsibility from you or maybe even give certain tasks to other people altogether. A great example would be to allow your partner or the best man to sort the outfits for the groomsmen.
Stay true to your vision
It can be all too easy to get swept up in the excitement of planning a wedding and forget the type of wedding you wanted in the first place. Just because something doesn’t necessarily fit with the ‘traditional’ concept of a wedding doesn’t mean that it won’t work for you and yours. The best way to know that you are going to enjoy your wedding day is to plan the type of wedding that you would enjoy attending. Don’t worry about whether your guests will have a good time; if they are worth inviting to your wedding (and by that we mean friends and family who care about you and vice versa) then they are going to enjoy themselves regardless of whether you have a string quartet for the reception entertainment or a heavy metal rock band. This is another way in which a planning buddy can come into their own; allow them to gently remind you of what you wanted from your wedding and be steered back onto course.
This also means, unfortunately, not giving in to suggestions from every person who thinks they are being helpful. Suggestions and ideas might be well intentioned but if they don’t fit with the type of wedding you want to plan then you don’t have to go with them. If you are concerned that you will upset a family member or friend then be sure to take them to one side and explain, validate their idea and perhaps suggest that they use the idea for their next big birthday or anniversary celebration instead.
Be honest about your worries
Weddings can be awash with family politics and if this is the kind of worry which is keeping you up at night then you need to be truthful with the people involved. Separated parents, old rivalries and silly disagreements have no place at your special day and it is always better to be upfront about your concerns with the people involved than to spend more time than necessary panicking over how to avoid a certain situation from occurring. You will cause far less upset than you might think by speaking with people directly, and it will mean you can let go of the worry and start looking forward to your day.
Take time out
On the day itself, make sure you set aside brief intervals of time when you can slip off to a quiet place to take a breath. Don’t feel that you have to handhold your guests through every section of the day. The reality is that after all your planning it will feel as though the day goes by in the blink of an eye, but if you take time out to sit with your new husband or wife in a small pocket of tranquillity and reflect, you will be able to savour each moment as it comes. Chances are your guests will be so busy enjoying themselves that they won’t even notice if you sneak off for a short time and it will allow you to just take a breather before heading back in to play hostess again.
Above all, make sure that you actually relax and enjoy your wedding day. You have put all the time and effort into making a day worth remembering so don’t get caught up in the small stuff on the day itself. Whether everything runs smoothly without a hitch or you face a hiccup or two, try and let it go and think how you would approach the day if you were a guest rather than the bride or groom. Make sure you eat the food you so carefully agonised over, raise a glass or two in celebration and get out on that dance floor with your family and friends until it’s time to call it a night.